Justification!

I have been thinking about justification, how do we justify our actions. do we ask others for approval as if that is what really matters. Do we go to counseling in hopes that our counselor will be able to tell us we are not crazy for thinking like we do.

 

Justification is real and need by many to be able to move forward with our life. I have felt the need for justification myself from time to time. But really we have to take the information we have at the time of the decision and recognize the fact that we may have different information later but we can only base the decision on what we know now. The other thing that has always been helpful for me is talking to God, whether is be though prayer or daily thoughts...

 

Although it is always helpful to have the support of family and friends in the decisions we make they are ours to make and we should do so with caution and caring.

Post Date!

Well I guess I should have not bothered getting dressed. It would not have mattered if I wore a sack. The date would have gone swell if I was ready to make out and get undressed! Anyway that is just not what I am looking for in a relationship at all. I just want to make a friend first, I want the glue of a friendship so that when times are tough we still have that to pull us together. I mean really is this too much to ask for? You would not think so, but with technology comes speed in everything including relationships. When I was young dating was very different, you actually had to make an effort to find time to connect with someone. now you have text message, email, skype, all these crazy things to help connect the dots of a relationship, but where is the meat?

 

I have a lot of needs when it comes to a relationship and a cell phone is not one of them. Hold my hand and support me, challenge me to try new things, make me laugh, romance me, be kind and caring and above all else put God first above me. He will show you how to love his precious daughter. Treat me the way you would want your own daughter treated and I don't believe that is to have sext me.

 

I will try again and I may not like the next one or he may not like me but one day I will...

What to wear?

I have an official date this Friday evening... I am so excited I can hardly contain myself, but here comes the worst part, what to wear?!? Ha Ha

 

I have not official been on a first date in two years and prior to that I was married for eleven years, so I am not exactly sure how to go about this anymore. I like to dress to impress but don't want to over dress and look like an idiot. But then again maybe I do, nothing wrong with getting dressed up and it's not like I get to do it very often, right. I once heard a quote that I have decided to try living by because I love it.

 

"Dress for the life you want, not the one you have!"

 

Yep it's official I am going to dress it up! Cheers to a great first date.

Tempers flying!

In the last few weeks I have noticed that my son has a horrible attitude. He is six and maybe this is to be expected, but really do we all have to suffer for his poor attitude. It is unfortunate that at the age of six you do not yet know how to indentify the things in your life that are having this effect on you. I personally wish I could just shake it out of him, lol! Although we all know that won't happen. He started first grade four weeks ago and prior to first grade had always loved school, daycare what ever it was that kept him busy during the day. Most days I would go pick him up and he would question why I was there already to get him. I want this child back. Lately it is all I can do to get him out the door in the mornings without a fit throwing tantrum or tears. This is a new school, new kids, new teacher, it's just new all the way around and whatever is going on there is not good. You know if this was a job you could just put in your notice and in two weeks be free. I wish it was that easy for him.

 

That being said as a mother I am trying to do everything I can to help him learn to enjoy this new enviroment. I encourage him everyday to make a new friend. He has made a few friends, one that I have a feeling is not such a great friend based on the things he has told me, but then again how can I be sure that my child is not the problem. Every parent wants to believe it's not their child's fault, but how can I be sure or this. I am not completely naive, I know that my child has some issues and unfortunately they are  mostly caused by adults. It is unfortunate that the actions we as adults take should have such an effect on these innocent children.

 

While writing this and thinking about the things that are effecting him I have come to the conclusion that my son needs a respectable man in his life. One that will be there forever no matter what. The time he spends with his dad is minimal during the school year and this makes is very difficult for him, and me bring a man into my life won't fill this gap either since if I take the man back out then that is just one more bad experience for him. I am hoping that my twin brother can fill in this gap as he is the best example of a man I could ask for. Wish me luck with this.

 

 

 

Pre-school!!

Yesterday was my daughter's first day of pre-school. She was so excited she could hardly contain herself. Karli is very independant, just like her mother. This girl will go far in life. If she wants something she will achieve it no matter what the cost!

 

Today I will begin my latest adventure. It is my goal to learn something new every year. I figure I am not getting any younger. This year I have decided to learn how to play the guitar. So this afternoon I will take my first lesson. I can hardly wait to get moving with this. Last year I bought myself a snowboard and took snowboarding lessons, I loved it it was so much fun. The year before I started shooting archery, what a blast I am having trying and learning new things.

 

So cheers to learning new things.....

 

 

Baby Girl!

Today is my baby girl's third birthday. While tucking her into bed last night it dawned on me that she was the beginning of the rest of my life! On New Year's day of 2009 I decided I could not live another year the way I had been living and I new then that I would be moving on with my life and eventually seeking a divorce. Two weeks later I found out I was pregnant with my beautiful daughter.  What an amazing blessing from god. She is beautiful, wonderful, happy and I could not have asked for anything more.

Happy birthday Karli!!!

Let's get started!

OMG this is all about me, hmmm where to start, what to say?

 

Welcome to my blog, my name is Brandi. I am a thirty five year old single mom of two young and amazing children. If asked why I am about to indulge in the world of blogging I would say that the reality of it is I need some creativity in my life, so here we go.

 

I was married for ten years and if I had to describe my married life I would say content. Wow that sounds boring, well it was I was just content, not happy, not sad just content. My marriage wasn't horrible it could have been worse right, he could have been abusive, lol! At least that is what I told myself.

 

I got married when I was twenty two and I believed that whatever my husband wanted could be what I wanted as well. During the first seven years of our marriage I believe we learned to live our own lives. I did what I wanted and he did the same. He worked alot and I barely ever saw him so I began doing creative things like quilting, things I could do alone rather that sit around feeling sorry for myself, since I did move to another state for this guy and I hardly had any friends.

 

Everything about our lives together was boring. We had little in common, he liked crazy adventurous things and I was a chicken to try those things, especially with him. When I did try things with him I always regretted it. I remember when I first tried skiing, nothing like taking your future wife off the steepest hill on the mountain. Seriously, I cried the entire way down the mountain, sliding on my bumm because everytime I stood up I would start flying into oblivion, at least that is what it felt like to me. He didn't even stay by my side, no his friend helped me the entire way down the mountain, what a gentleman. You would think, hello lady that is a clear sign you should not marry a man like this. But know, I loved him right? He did however stop to check on me multiple times as he went up and down the mountain over and over again.

 

Wow I am thinking this could be fun and refreshing to share my misery with you. If nothing else maybe someone will read this and realize they are about to marry this same guy and choose differently.