Let me go...

Why is that I can't just be mean to people? I want to but I am just not good at it. My ex-bf is driving me crazy. Every since he found out I am on the dating scene again he is constantly showing up and trying to spend time with my kids, like he's out to prove something to me. Unfortunately I am not feeling the same way, i just want him to leave me and my kids alone and move on with his life. I don't hate him, but I don't think I should have to share the goings on in my life with him. The other day he took my kids fishing and when he brought them to my house he arrived prior to me getting there. I asked my driving partner to please drop me at the corner so I could just walk home. It is not that he is not gentleman enough to take me to my door, but two things I did not want to witness a confrontation between ex-bf and driver and my kids were there. I am not ready to introduce my kids to my driving partner. He respected my wishes and dropped me at the corner.

 

Upon walking home I got the what he's not man enough to bring you home... Good grief seriously, he began giving me the 20 questions after letting himself into my home. I told him that it was none of his business how, or where I met this guy nor was it any of his business who he is or what I do with him. But he should be glad that I am not bringing anyone into my children's life yet. He received a phone call while he was at my house, which he later informed me was his girlfriend. Seriously?!? Here he is telling me what I should and should not do all the while he has multiple girlfriends which he is sleeping with. OMG

 

How do I get rid of him without being mean.... Please let me go...

Cruise...

Baby you a song, you make me wanna roll my windows down and cruise....

So I met a guy. I know, crazy huh. So far he's a really nice guy, we are having fun getting to know each other. No rushing into things, just enjoying each others company. He owns a BMW which he has really never had a reason to drive before, but we enjoy cruising in it. LOL

It is nice to have a no pressure good time with a person of the opposite sex... I like it and can't wait to see where this adventure will take me.

Justification!

I have been thinking about justification, how do we justify our actions. do we ask others for approval as if that is what really matters. Do we go to counseling in hopes that our counselor will be able to tell us we are not crazy for thinking like we do.

 

Justification is real and need by many to be able to move forward with our life. I have felt the need for justification myself from time to time. But really we have to take the information we have at the time of the decision and recognize the fact that we may have different information later but we can only base the decision on what we know now. The other thing that has always been helpful for me is talking to God, whether is be though prayer or daily thoughts...

 

Although it is always helpful to have the support of family and friends in the decisions we make they are ours to make and we should do so with caution and caring.

Post Date!

Well I guess I should have not bothered getting dressed. It would not have mattered if I wore a sack. The date would have gone swell if I was ready to make out and get undressed! Anyway that is just not what I am looking for in a relationship at all. I just want to make a friend first, I want the glue of a friendship so that when times are tough we still have that to pull us together. I mean really is this too much to ask for? You would not think so, but with technology comes speed in everything including relationships. When I was young dating was very different, you actually had to make an effort to find time to connect with someone. now you have text message, email, skype, all these crazy things to help connect the dots of a relationship, but where is the meat?

 

I have a lot of needs when it comes to a relationship and a cell phone is not one of them. Hold my hand and support me, challenge me to try new things, make me laugh, romance me, be kind and caring and above all else put God first above me. He will show you how to love his precious daughter. Treat me the way you would want your own daughter treated and I don't believe that is to have sext me.

 

I will try again and I may not like the next one or he may not like me but one day I will...

What to wear?

I have an official date this Friday evening... I am so excited I can hardly contain myself, but here comes the worst part, what to wear?!? Ha Ha

 

I have not official been on a first date in two years and prior to that I was married for eleven years, so I am not exactly sure how to go about this anymore. I like to dress to impress but don't want to over dress and look like an idiot. But then again maybe I do, nothing wrong with getting dressed up and it's not like I get to do it very often, right. I once heard a quote that I have decided to try living by because I love it.

 

"Dress for the life you want, not the one you have!"

 

Yep it's official I am going to dress it up! Cheers to a great first date.

Tempers flying!

In the last few weeks I have noticed that my son has a horrible attitude. He is six and maybe this is to be expected, but really do we all have to suffer for his poor attitude. It is unfortunate that at the age of six you do not yet know how to indentify the things in your life that are having this effect on you. I personally wish I could just shake it out of him, lol! Although we all know that won't happen. He started first grade four weeks ago and prior to first grade had always loved school, daycare what ever it was that kept him busy during the day. Most days I would go pick him up and he would question why I was there already to get him. I want this child back. Lately it is all I can do to get him out the door in the mornings without a fit throwing tantrum or tears. This is a new school, new kids, new teacher, it's just new all the way around and whatever is going on there is not good. You know if this was a job you could just put in your notice and in two weeks be free. I wish it was that easy for him.

 

That being said as a mother I am trying to do everything I can to help him learn to enjoy this new enviroment. I encourage him everyday to make a new friend. He has made a few friends, one that I have a feeling is not such a great friend based on the things he has told me, but then again how can I be sure that my child is not the problem. Every parent wants to believe it's not their child's fault, but how can I be sure or this. I am not completely naive, I know that my child has some issues and unfortunately they are  mostly caused by adults. It is unfortunate that the actions we as adults take should have such an effect on these innocent children.

 

While writing this and thinking about the things that are effecting him I have come to the conclusion that my son needs a respectable man in his life. One that will be there forever no matter what. The time he spends with his dad is minimal during the school year and this makes is very difficult for him, and me bring a man into my life won't fill this gap either since if I take the man back out then that is just one more bad experience for him. I am hoping that my twin brother can fill in this gap as he is the best example of a man I could ask for. Wish me luck with this.

 

 

 

Pre-school!!

Yesterday was my daughter's first day of pre-school. She was so excited she could hardly contain herself. Karli is very independant, just like her mother. This girl will go far in life. If she wants something she will achieve it no matter what the cost!

 

Today I will begin my latest adventure. It is my goal to learn something new every year. I figure I am not getting any younger. This year I have decided to learn how to play the guitar. So this afternoon I will take my first lesson. I can hardly wait to get moving with this. Last year I bought myself a snowboard and took snowboarding lessons, I loved it it was so much fun. The year before I started shooting archery, what a blast I am having trying and learning new things.

 

So cheers to learning new things.....